Rachel, thank you for your candor! God is indeed with us in every moment of our lives and cares deeply about our experiences. I also spent time working in ministry, and it was quite difficult. One thing that kept me going was the deep belief that Jesus admires, nurtures, and upholds women. I would remind myself that a woman was chosen first to hear the news of Jesus' resurrection, and therefore a woman was the first person to share the good news of his resurrection with others. A woman brought Jesus Christ into this world against the backdrop of a pregnancy that was outside of the social norm and the peril of being hunted for birthing the new king. And there are so many other amazing women in the Bible - Dinah, Ruth, Esther, Rahab, and Mary Magdelene. These women all stand behind you. Keep going!